‘I felt alive’: Hamlin practices in pads for first time since cardiac arrest

Of the thousands of emotions — trepidation among them — running through Damar Hamlin’s head on Monday while pulling on his pads for practice for the first time at training camp, the one that ultimately won out was joy.

The Buffalo Bills safety has slowly worked his way back into his football career since he went into cardiac arrest during a game and needed to be resuscitated on the field.

“This is just a another milestone on the journey – might be one of the biggest ones,” Hamlin said after practice on Monday.

“I made the choice to play. But I’m processing a thousand emotions. I’m not afraid to say that it crosses my mind of being a little scared here and there. My faith is stronger than any fear. That’s what I want to preach up here. And that’s the message I want to spread on to the world that as long as your faith is stronger than your fear, you can get through anything.”

Though Hamlin was cleared to resume practicing in mid-April, he did so wearing a helmet and shorts with his teammates through their spring sessions and first four days of training camp, as mandated by NFL rules. The magnitude of the Bills’ first day in pads wasn’t lost on Hamlin, given it marked the first time he was in full uniform since collapsing on the field in Cincinnati on 2 January after making what appeared to be a routine tackle of Bengals receiver Tee Higgins.

“It’s a superblessed space. To be able to do what I love again,” Hamlin said. “Just trying to keep everything as normal as possible.”

Hamlin’s biggest contact came on the final play of practice, when he avoided a block to work his way into the backfield and help a teammate stop tight end Quintin Morris.

“That first little moment of contact, that was just letting me know. I felt alive, man. I felt like I’m here,” Hamlin said with a grin. “So it felt good. It was just that moment of: ‘All right, let’s settle in and let’s just take one play at a time. Let’s just keep going.’”

The 25-year-old opened last season as a backup before starting 13 games after Micah Hyde sustained a season-ending neck injury.

This year, Hamlin is competing with Taylor Rapp for a backup role behind Hyde and Jordan Poyer. As for Hamlin’s next hurdle, it will come on 12 August, when the Bills open their preseason schedule at home against Indianapolis.

A day earlier, Bills coach Sean McDermott said he was walking a fine line by treating Hamlin much like any other player while keeping in mind what he’s gone through.

“I think awareness is important, right? You’ve got X amount of guys out here and then you have Damar in there as well and trying to make it as a normal as possible,” McDermott said. “We’re going to support him through this, and to this point he’s done a phenomenal job.”

Last week, Hamlin received a reminder of what had happened to him when NBA star LeBron James’ son, Bronny, went into cardiac arrest during a basketball workout. He has since been released from the hospital.

“It put everything back in perspective for me,” said Hamlin, who reached out to the James family after they supported him during his recovery. “I wanted to let him know I’ll be there for whatever he needs in his journey as far as his recovery and getting back to his sport, if that’s what he chooses to do.”

Hamlin made his choice and is sticking with football for as long and far as it takes him.

“Some of these emotions will never leave. Whenever everybody’s not paying attention to me no more, I’ll still be processing these emotions myself,” he said.

“I kind of look at it like a challenge. Not too many people get this level of overcoming something and being able to stand for so many good things … It’s a blessed space, and it’s a bunch of opportunity in there as well, if you choose to look at it that way.”